Slips/Trips/Falls
I have to say, being in recovery during this COVID-19 period has had its share of obstacles and challenges to overcome. As many of you know, I’m participating in Sarasota County’s DUI Court Program, a comprehensive 12 month treatment court that offers DUI offenders the opportunity to embrace recovery, get mental health counseling, obtain psychiatric treatment, and overall grow as individuals while under the supervision of the 12th Judicial Circuit.
Mid March, around St. Patrick’s Day, it was announced that all treatment courts were closing for a two week period because of the virus. Alright, no big deal, a small change in the routine for a week or two but nothing I couldn’t handle. End of March, it’s extended to Mid April. One week into April, extended until the end of May. So, if I’m understanding this right, basically we’re going to unleash a bunch of (not all) folks in early recovery out into the world with zero accountability to anyone and just expect that everything will be fine and that nothing will happen, etc. WRONG.
It took me a few weeks to go off the deep end, but with the uncertainty of finances, anxiety over not being able to go do anything at all, and not wanting to go crazy by sitting at home all day with the same person, I took it out on a few beers about a week ago. Not the proudest of moments, but, honestly I didn’t know what else to do. I won’t use the excuse that I didn’t have “tools in my toolbox” because I did, but instead, I went with what felt right at the moment. The routine of the program was what was keeping me in check and it has pissed me off that there was no plan in place to make sure we all would remain vigilant to what we agreed to when we entered. The fact that it’s taken weeks in order to get things straight is baffling in and of itself, but then again, I guess what can you expect from government employees.
Now please don’t get me wrong here, the staff are being fantastic, but it took a slip or two and a cry for help before anyone even reached out. Funny thing that I observed this past week as I looked at the calendar on my refrigerator. There is a calendar of groups scheduled throughout the week that we could attend in person. Why can’t we offer those still via the Zoom app like we have been for the two or three groups with DUI Court? I’m pretty positive that the individuals who ran those are working from home and have the capability to put all the groups on each day. Also, can someone please tell me why there is so much focus on the future for clients rather than the here and now? Focusing so much on the future, whether phasing up or graduations, or how are they going to handle their recovery when they’re not in the program defeats the principles that all 12 step groups are founded upon...one day at a time...But I digress...
The great part of all of this was that I have the ability to pick myself up from it and have done so already. The whole road of recovery in my mind is about picking yourself up when you fall down and dusting yourself off as best you can and continuing the journey. I’m glad to be able to live in the here and now. As the disciples that journeyed to Emmaus and back to Jerusalem did, I’m writing my own story and telling everyone about it.
Welcome to my blog :)
-PD
Mid March, around St. Patrick’s Day, it was announced that all treatment courts were closing for a two week period because of the virus. Alright, no big deal, a small change in the routine for a week or two but nothing I couldn’t handle. End of March, it’s extended to Mid April. One week into April, extended until the end of May. So, if I’m understanding this right, basically we’re going to unleash a bunch of (not all) folks in early recovery out into the world with zero accountability to anyone and just expect that everything will be fine and that nothing will happen, etc. WRONG.
It took me a few weeks to go off the deep end, but with the uncertainty of finances, anxiety over not being able to go do anything at all, and not wanting to go crazy by sitting at home all day with the same person, I took it out on a few beers about a week ago. Not the proudest of moments, but, honestly I didn’t know what else to do. I won’t use the excuse that I didn’t have “tools in my toolbox” because I did, but instead, I went with what felt right at the moment. The routine of the program was what was keeping me in check and it has pissed me off that there was no plan in place to make sure we all would remain vigilant to what we agreed to when we entered. The fact that it’s taken weeks in order to get things straight is baffling in and of itself, but then again, I guess what can you expect from government employees.
Now please don’t get me wrong here, the staff are being fantastic, but it took a slip or two and a cry for help before anyone even reached out. Funny thing that I observed this past week as I looked at the calendar on my refrigerator. There is a calendar of groups scheduled throughout the week that we could attend in person. Why can’t we offer those still via the Zoom app like we have been for the two or three groups with DUI Court? I’m pretty positive that the individuals who ran those are working from home and have the capability to put all the groups on each day. Also, can someone please tell me why there is so much focus on the future for clients rather than the here and now? Focusing so much on the future, whether phasing up or graduations, or how are they going to handle their recovery when they’re not in the program defeats the principles that all 12 step groups are founded upon...one day at a time...But I digress...
The great part of all of this was that I have the ability to pick myself up from it and have done so already. The whole road of recovery in my mind is about picking yourself up when you fall down and dusting yourself off as best you can and continuing the journey. I’m glad to be able to live in the here and now. As the disciples that journeyed to Emmaus and back to Jerusalem did, I’m writing my own story and telling everyone about it.
Welcome to my blog :)
-PD
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